I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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