i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
