she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So much rum. So many feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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