the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
