slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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