fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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