Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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