a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
