Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
