Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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