...so i touched it.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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