I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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