worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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