Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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