you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He felt like a one man threesome
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My vagina is officially offended.
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