i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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