fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize