South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
