a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
birth control should be required to get into college
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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