Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
