U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
