Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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