I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
