Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
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It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
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Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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