Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I supernannyed him into submission
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
