Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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