Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
