You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
