i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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