I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
