I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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