you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
