I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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