CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
