I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
