I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
