Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
