You made me cry and you don't even care
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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