just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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