Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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