your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
