fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I am available for nakedness
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
