I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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