I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
should my penis look like a turkey
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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