what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize