somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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