Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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