Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
