I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
