Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
