No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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