He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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