So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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