North Korea, Best Korea!
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Terrible idea I love it
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
