Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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