do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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