i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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