you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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