I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
