At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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