it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
