"it" just moved
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
