Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
