it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
