he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize