If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
