Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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