I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
